I have often tried talking to you about Alex, using various different ways, as for so many other things. Sometimes, I have strange thoughts scrolling through my mind, just like back then, when I was a kid.
In one of the fairy tales, you used to read to me, it was said that at night, when the kids are asleep, their dollies awaken and live their own lives. They laugh, play, dance and do exactly what their young friends do during the day. And just before dawn, they quickly run back to their places, so that no one will ever know. If a child though wakes up and meets them during the night then they welcome it into their group and let it participate in their secret lives.
This is how I now feel with you. It is impossible that you stay there silent day and night like an old, ragged doll; when you are alone I am sure you come alive again….Remembering and understanding all, I have at times, entrusted you with. This is the reason why I always try to present the events more lightly; I don’t want you to be frightened, even though you seem not to listen, not to give a damn. This is why I sometimes open your door so abruptly like I used to open my eyes as a kid after pretending to be fast asleep, hoping to hear a sound from my big toy box.
Alas, I find you always seated in your armchair looking through the glass balcony door, and most of the times you don’t even turn your head towards me.
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